Although much worse things are going on in the world right now (You can text "HAITI" to 90999 to donate $10 to Red Cross relief efforts in Haiti. I did.), I'm gonna give a brief synopsis of my sob story that I touched upon in my first entry at the beginning of the year.
I have many friends who have been different shapes and sizes over their lifetime. They are who they are and I think they're all great no matter what they look like, but many of them have known the joys of being thin. At some point in their life, they were thin and I'm sure they physically felt fantastic.
I have never known that joy. Correction: I cannot remember feeling that joy. The last time I was at a comfortable weight was when I was around eight years old. Since then, I have just gained weight much faster than I ever should have. A lot of people in my family have had similar journeys so I chalk it up to a feeling that's in my blood, but it's not healthy, no matter what it is.
I want to clarify: I don't really don't mind being overweight. I enjoy food and I like who I am as a person, whether I'm overweight or not. I think everyone is beautiful no matter how they choose to live (unless they don't take showers). I just feel I could be living a healthier lifestyle and prolonging my life if I chose to eat better. I need a challenge and I think this is just the route to take.
This is right. It feels right. It's all going very well so far. It hasn't been easy and it's a constant battle, but I really honestly feel that I've turned my mind around for good. It's quite exciting to know this and believe it.
I want to know more than anything what it feels like. And I really feel like I'm going to find out by January 1, 2011.