STARTING WEIGHT (1/1): 254.
CURRENT WEIGHT (6/5): 217.
Weight loss this week: 0 (+1)
Total weight loss: 37 lb.
I have to vent.
I am now back at the same weight I was almost a month ago. I really, really hate this. It is so frustrating. I would say that I'm eating poorly and that's why this is happening but I'm really not doing anything too differently that I can see. Any over-indulgence over the weekend is usually corrected during the week. As this is the start of summer, there have been more BBQs. Yes, I also have been eating a little bit more. But I apparently can't even cheat a little bit and that sucks.
What's scary is this is the kind of frustration that makes me want to eat. That cliche line "I eat because I'm depressed and I'm depressed because I eat" really is so true and it's something that a lot of overweight people get stuck in pretty easily. Luckily, I am listening to my body more and I hear it when it gets full (most of the time). I get full quicker and I really get a stomach ache if I don't listen.
I'm not too worried about me about eating in frustration, but it's one of those things I really want to do. I mean, I ultimately had ZERO weight loss in a month. I lost almost 10 pounds in April. That's devastating. I can't see myself reaching my ultimate goal this year at this rate and I probably won't even hit my goal of 204 pounds by July 19th that I set on Day 105.
I think what's most frustrating is that I am still within just five pounds of my lightest adult weight ever and I just cannot seem to get there. It would be a huge milestone for me to just get there and it is so maddening to have it dangled there just out of reach. I really think it would be a tremendous second wind to just reach 212.
I know I'll start losing weight again. It's one of those times when I'm just building muscle and it's balancing. Eye on the prize. I am technically already half-way there (37 being halfway to 74 pounds) and it's not even half-way through the year yet; not until July 2nd. It's not even the summer yet. 37 pounds is fucking amazing and I still get people complimenting me every day.
I'll get there.
PS-- I started pushups this week, upon recommendation of Steiny. I overdid it though on the first day and my arms have been hurting ever since. They're a part of my daily routine now and they hurt.