Saturday, June 05, 2010

Day 156: The Weigh-In: Week 22

CURRENT WEIGHT (6/5): 217.
Weight loss this week: 0 (+1)
Total weight loss: 37 lb.

I have to vent.

I am now back at the same weight I was almost a month ago. I really, really hate this. It is so frustrating. I would say that I'm eating poorly and that's why this is happening but I'm really not doing anything too differently that I can see. Any over-indulgence over the weekend is usually corrected during the week. As this is the start of summer, there have been more BBQs. Yes, I also have been eating a little bit more. But I apparently can't even cheat a little bit and that sucks.

What's scary is this is the kind of frustration that makes me want to eat. That cliche line "I eat because I'm depressed and I'm depressed because I eat" really is so true and it's something that a lot of overweight people get stuck in pretty easily. Luckily, I am listening to my body more and I hear it when it gets full (most of the time). I get full quicker and I really get a stomach ache if I don't listen.

I'm not too worried about me about eating in frustration, but it's one of those things I really want to do. I mean, I ultimately had ZERO weight loss in a month. I lost almost 10 pounds in April. That's devastating. I can't see myself reaching my ultimate goal this year at this rate and I probably won't even hit my goal of 204 pounds by July 19th that I set on Day 105.

I think what's most frustrating is that I am still within just five pounds of my lightest adult weight ever and I just cannot seem to get there. It would be a huge milestone for me to just get there and it is so maddening to have it dangled there just out of reach. I really think it would be a tremendous second wind to just reach 212.

I know I'll start losing weight again. It's one of those times when I'm just building muscle and it's balancing. Eye on the prize. I am technically already half-way there (37 being halfway to 74 pounds) and it's not even half-way through the year yet; not until July 2nd. It's not even the summer yet. 37 pounds is fucking amazing and I still get people complimenting me every day.

(deep breath)

I'll get there.


PS-- I started pushups this week, upon recommendation of Steiny. I overdid it though on the first day and my arms have been hurting ever since. They're a part of my daily routine now and they hurt.


Carl & Julie said...

I know exactly how you feel; I've been on a plateau for nearly a year now. The good news is, as long as you're not putting on more weight, you're in good shape. The longer you keep the weight off, the less likely you are to put it back on. The last 20 pounds are always the hardest, especially after you hit 30. Don't give up. Just keep reminding yourself that you're doing a good job by maintaining healthy habits and not falling back into the old routine. We're all pulling for you!

Rob Anderson said...

I used to be 300lbs in high school and lost 100lbs over the course of 5 years. I went up and down a lot and the whole thing sucks. One thing that really helped me was not always using my weight as the absolute mark of my progress. Yeah, its instant gratification when you see the numbers go down, but the opposite can happen when they stay the same.

I also know what you mean with BBQs and summer eating. I always had better habits when I ate the things I loved in moderation. When I started depriving myself of food I liked then all I thought about was food and would eventually cave in HARD. I think you are on the right track though!

Tart Deco said...

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Bryan said...

Hey Neil,

From another guy who used to be overweight (I was 238 in 2006), just keep in mind that it took a lot of time to put on the weight - your body needs time to lose it in healthy fashion.

As a few other folks have already said, you can't get too hung up on numbers all the time; try to note your other changes, your physical improvements in performance, etc.

Keep up the hard work, and you WILL continue to lose weight. It just takes time. Don't kick it up too high, too fast, because your body will recognize the shock and actually HOLD ON to weight as it defends itself (seriously, there's technical jargon that I'm sure I could've used, but this is simpler).

Keep doing what you're doing, and try not to stare at the scale too much. Just use it as a guideline, not an end-all, be-all.